Mother’s Day is a wonderful day to celebrate Moms and appreciate all they do, who they are, how they love us, and how they enrich our lives. As mothers, it is a day traditionally greeted with homemade cards, breakfast in bed and a relaxing day off from all those responsibilities families can, at times, take for granted.
For those of us who are not mothers, Mother’s Day can be difficult. Out of those women who are childless, statistics have shown that only around 10% of those women are voluntarily childless. When you’ve spent the better part of your life thinking and planning for motherhood and those plans do not come to fruition for one reason or another, this day can be an extremely complex day of emotions that isn’t always talked about openly. One of the many problems that comes along with communicating anything about those feelings when you’re childless is receiving accusations of being bitter. Bitterness may be an emotion that comes years later and can creep up around Mother’s Day after long time anger, anguish, periods of grief, resentment, and sadness. All of these are valid emotions for anyone to feel when something you’ve wanted, hoped for, and even prayed for, doesn’t happen.
This doesn’t mean that all childless women are bitter. As I mentioned, it is complex. You can still celebrate other mothers on Mother’s Day and be 100% supportive while both feeling a plethora of difficult emotions. Whether you’re single and wondering if the possibility of a family will ever be available to you or if you’ve tried desperately for years to start a family, here are some simple ways to find joy on this special day.
Express Gratitude for Mothers
First and foremost, Mother’s Day is a reflective time to remember and express gratitude for the mothers in our lives. These may also be mother figures like grandmothers, aunts, and close women in your lives that have molded and shaped you into the woman you are today. Let this become your focus as you serve the mothers around you. Think of the blessings that have come into your life because of these incredible women and thank God for these women.
Recognize the Mother in You
You are a mother figure to someone in your life. A mother doesn’t always have to physically give birth. Whether you are an aunt, a spiritual mother, a sister, or a friend – you are a woman who has had a lasting impact on other humans around you. The role of a mother is to teach, to nurture, to encourage, to provide, and to love. Think of the people in your life who you’ve had the privilege to selflessly give and help around you. Recognize the gift you’ve have as a mother to these people!
Most mothers receive a day off and a lot of pampering on Mother’s Day; you deserve this too! Sleep in late, go to a movie or get a pedicure. Treat yourself to your favorite meal, let the dishes and the housework slide for the day. Take some time to enjoy the things you love and that bring you joy.
Gather with Others
You are not alone, so don’t be alone! There are many other women who feel the same way as you. Get together for lunch or dinner with women who are walking the same path as you. Encourage and celebrate one another. Learn from each other and listen to each other’s stories.
Though life may look different than you imagined it would, motherhood does not define your hope and purpose. Every woman’s story looks different and holds value!
If Mother’s Day is hard for you, for one reason or another, I encourage you to:
- Be honest with God. Bring your sadness, frustration and even your anger to Him. Take time to grieve and process.
- Reach out to the women of influence in your life. If your mom has passed away or your relationship is difficult, refocus on the women who have influenced you over the years. Send an encouraging note expressing how they have impacted your life.
- Nurture others. Who has God placed in your life for you to care for? Recognize opportunities to pour into the lives of others. Embrace the chance to be an adopted aunt for a military child, a big sister for a foster kid or a mentor to a younger woman.
In the spirit of expressing gratitude and gathering with others, this year is the 8th year that The Jonathon D Fischer Foundation (JDFF) has the privilege of sponsoring the Fostering Hope Women’s Luncheon benefiting the Dream Center’s programs. I look forward to this event every year because the outreach programs the proceeds support, directly sponsors women and children affected by food insecurity, family separation poverty and more. These programs make an incredible difference in the lives of so many women and children. I’m so proud to work alongside and support such an amazing organization.
This program is just one of the Dream Center’s many outreach programs that partners with the Department of Children and Family Services to prevent families from being separated in Los Angeles. Loving, hardworking moms are literally watching their children go into Foster Care because of a lack of basic necessities. The Dream Center will stand in the gap and supply those needs in order to keep healthy families together. They provide furniture, food, clothing, appliances and other basic items needed to allow parents to retain or regain custody of their children.
You can find more about the Luncheon and if you’re in the Los Angeles area, can purchase tickets to the event on May 11th on their website by clicking the button below:More Information Here